Upon launching Tik Tok yesterday, I was greeted by your post replying to @nyydollaas who had left a comment on your page.
Since Tik Tok only provides 150 characters to post a comment, I felt compelled to reply in more detail and therefore created this tok-bak page for your post.
The amount of energy required to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude greater than the energy it takes to produce it.
Assymetry of Bullshit
Please excuse the length of this post, there was a lot to refute.
The reason this is so important is that you have lied to your viewers with impunity. You have made incorrect assumptions about the person who left the comment and then you proceeded to create a series of false equivalencies and ad-hominem attacks to further your agenda rather than reply in any genuine manner to the comment as presented.
Your glaring first mistake, and the one that shows that this is all your misandry boiling over is that you presumed that the comment came from a man. Not just a man, but a sleazy man who enjoys watching 14-15-year-old girls “sway” and “dance” innocently on Tik Tok.
According to the profile of Tik Tok user, @nyydollaas, she appears to be a 14-year-old girl who has lots of followers, but no content. The only clues we have about who she really is comes from her profile which reads:
…๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ | ๐๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฎ, ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐พ ๐๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ช๐ด๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ธ
So the entire foundation of your sexist diatribe and malicious attack on a commenter missed its mark completely. You treated a 14-year-old girl like she was a lecherous man. and then proceeded to make several unfounded and unrelated claims that literally had nothing to do with the comment. You owe her an apology.
I’d be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and pretend that this girl’s Father figured out how to use her Tik Tok account and came across your post then decided he would comment on your post about how he perceived your message came across. It’s a reach, a sexist and unfounded reach, but for the sake of argument, I will give you this one.
Before we break down the substantive portions of your false and fallacious claims, I would like to point out a couple of considerations:
Two of the biggest trends on Tik Tok so far have been the Twerking Challenge and the Shake That Ass challenge. When searching google for these terms, there are more than a million videos that participated in these challenges.
So from the very start, when the supposed father says that he believes you are telling him that he should LET his 14-year-old daughter “Shake Her Ass” for middle-aged men on Tik Tok, it is not unreasonable to assume that he meant that literally.
When we look up the definition of Twerking from Merriam Webster’s, it clearly defines Twerking as:
sexually suggestive dancing characterized by rapid, repeated hip thrusts and shaking of the buttocks especially while squatting
Merriam Webster–Twerking
Just to be clear, shaking of the buttocks is what he obviously meant when he supposedly said, “..shake her ass…”
But more to the point of the issue, when the young lady is only 14-years-old, her father is obligated to take care of her legally. He is her guardian and therefore it is well within the guidelines of parenthood to decide what his daughter can and can’t do. You may not like that, but it is a fact. He can decide to LET her do something or not without stepping outside of the bounds of law or common decency, even for feminists.
According to the Federal Justice Bureau,
Child pornography is a form of child sexual exploitation. Federal law defines child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (persons less than 18 years old). ย Images of child pornography are also referred to as child sexual abuse images.
Federal Justice Bureau
This clearly indicates that when a 14-year-old girl participates in the popular craze of “sexually suggestive dancing characterized by rapid, repeated hip thrusts and shaking of the buttocks especially while squatting” it qualifies as sexually explicit conduct and therefore her legal guardian is legally obligated to prevent this behavior.
For you to claim otherwise is the blueprint for child pornography and your post is the architecture that child pornographers use to falsely claim that she was just “swaying” or “dancing” when she was actually simulating riding a man’s erect penis rhythmically as indicated by 1.5 million videos on Tik Tok.
But seriously, this is not about whether she posted the comment after hearing her dad say that. It’s not about her dad posting the comment, It’s about all the vile and disgusting stereotypes and general misandry that characterizes the rest of your post about which I am most embarrassed for you.
You tell us that the architecture of our society is inequality and that the supposed man’s claim was the blueprint. Not the blueprint for the protection of his daughter from predators, not the blueprint for the protection of his daughter for being under age and participating in literal child pornography, but rather it is the blueprint for how inequality is created in our society.
Then you tell us you are going to put THAT SENTENCE to work another way. The casual reader and follower would surely expect you to conjure up some convoluted context in which THAT STATEMENT would sound sexist or oppressive rather than protective as you claim first.
But you never deliver.
You used different words, in a different context, under a different tone, to say something that in no way sounded anything like the sentence or even the sentiment expressed by the supposed father.
Furthermore, you have no way of knowing anything about the father (if there even is a father involved), so what makes you so sure that he isn’t a card-carrying feminist who regularly prosthletizes to former friends who were lecherous towards women? You absolutely cannot support your claim at all here. And to think for a second that your statement shoved down the throat of this imaginary father is in any way equivalent would be laugh-out-loud funny if it weren’t so hateful and unjust.
You claim that the words that he used were too close to saying that she deserved to be raped for how she was dancing and you are shocked that you think that means that she is somehow responsible for her actions?
Which is it, M. Dowling? Is a 14-year-old girl old enough to have agency here when she gets on Tick Tock to shake her Money Maker (from her profile) for middle-aged men despite her father telling her she can’t. The law sure as hell doesn’t believe that. But somehow you appear to believe that.
You lie to us by claiming that she is likely to sway and dance innocently. Ain’t nobody on this planet using their “Money Maker” to sway and dance innocently. And guess, what, M. Dowling, the father most likely wouldn’t have complained about that.
In fact, he didn’t complain about her dancing or doing one of the g-rated dance challenges, did he? He wasn’t upset about that, just the part that is the biggest craze over the longest period targeted at young women, challenging them to shake their asses. Look on YouTube for the compilation videos and file that in your feminist agenda notebook under, “sway and dance”.
And though you have dug yourself in deep enough by your crass characterization of your imaginary father who foolishly thinks that his daughter might be less of a lying cheat than you were to your parents, the barrage of unjust confrontation and mischaracterization doesn’t stop there.
You go on to ask which would he prefer: To control all men (which sounds a lot more like something you would like than pretty much anyone else) or his daughter.
So let’s evaluate the safety of his daughter if he controlled all men.
Presumably, that would take all of his time and so she would be at liberty to do whatever she wanted. She could twerk her sexy little 14-year-old ass all over Tik Tok without any fear because daddy magically had control over all men in the world.
Guess what, M. Dowling, women are also child molesters. If the man controlled every other male on the planet, the girl would still be at risk for shaking her ass (not swaying). She’d be at risk from other children, from women, and from the Federal Justice Bureau. She would still face considerable risk to satisfy your fantasy that she should be allowed to do whatever she wants because her supposed father was using a blueprint that made things unfair for her. Safer than your fantasy for sure, but unfair.
If the man were to lock the girl in the basement and not try to control everyone in the world that he has no responsibility for, no concern for, and no license to dictate their actions, she would be safe Much more safe.
But what about this as an option. You see, I’ve got a little bit of feminism in me too. I have an entire extended family of almost a dozen lesbians and allies that are die-hard feminists. Being gay myself, I am an advocate for any solution that improves the quality of life and doesn’t oppress people using stereotypes and misinformation in much the way your post does.
So if it were me, I think the best solution here is to educate his daughter on the real-world risks that she faces for being sweet and innocent. Then I would educate her on the effects that her provocative dancing could potentially have on men or other people. I wouldn’t tell her that it was okay or fair, because it’s not. But wanting things to be fair when they aren’t isn’t helping anyone.
I would explain that some people would claim that if she is going to provoke a sexual reaction with her appearance and her actions, she is willfully putting herself at risk and she should know better. I’d explain that people will blame her for whatever happens to her and as much as that sucks, she has to be aware of it and prepared for it. I would reinforce over and over that no man under any circumstance should be allowed to hurt her, to touch her, or to approach her for any reason without her permission.
But I would sure as hell avoid painting some feminist fantasy picture that releases her of any responsibility for failing to recognize the risk she was walking into and for provoking a situation where she is victimized. I’d ask her if she would walk into a yard with a dog she didn’t know wearing Lady Gaga’s meat dress and then blame the dogs for attacking her. I would emphasize that she needs to think of men that she doesn’t know like that dog until she knows better.
If this were some feminist utopia, she should be able to walk naked into a group of men and simulate all kinds of sexual functions and they would do the right thing and stand there without commenting or noticing–because women deserve that right after all of the oppression they have had to endure without any benefit whatsoever. But we aren’t there yet, so please quit putting women in jeopardy by suspending their agency to be aware of their surroundings and how their appearance and actions can put them at risk–no matter how unfortunate and unfair it is.
But I would sure as hell let her know that while I support her doing the more innocent dance challenges, maybe even a little swaying and having a good time so long as she is aware of her actions and those actions fall within the guidelines that I (speaking as her father) have decided are best for her.